India has been all over international news for so many reasons. Recently President Obama's visit to India and the completion of Agni 5, we have been on top of our game. But if you re in India and play a news channel there is one topic that has gained popularity for a decent amount of time now; The increase in the number of rapes in India. It has come to a point where we are named as the Rape capital of the world and let's face it, thats not something to be proud of. I am writing this article because the problem is so close to my heart and I have heard people talk about it for so long, I have finally decided to voice my opinion.
All over our news channels we are currently trying to fix the issue on a national scale as a country. The underlying problem actually is on a much smaller scale. Instead of dealing with it as a nation let's zoom in a little and look at a particular region, let's zoom in a little more take a look at a town or city and finally take a look at a household. I think this is where the actual lies....... at home. The problem in my opinion is so simple, women in our society do not stand up for other women. Think about this statement and then tell me it's wrong. I am not solely blaming women for this problem, but it is a major part of the problem. Allow me to explain...
Generally in any household, women spend a considerable amount of time with their children or at least a lot more than their husbands. Women thus get to shape a child's personality and ideology a lot more than they think they do. Parents (husband and wife) teach their children morals and ethics. These are the basic ideas that help people distinguish right from wrong. When a person fails to understand why rape is wrong it reflects on nothing but poor upbringing on behalf of their parents or (in most cases mothers).
Let us look at Mukesh, the man who recently said in the documentary India's daughter, that it was okay to rape a woman because of her clothes,(with no hint of remorse whatsoever) let us try and look when the boy was a child or a teenager. He at some point in his young adulthood probably revealed misogynistic behavior toward women. His father may or may not have caught this but his mother most likely saw it and overlooked it. Had it been addressed there and curbed inside of him, I doubt he would have grown up to be a man to show such much disrespect toward women that he does not even realize it's wrong.
Its a universally known fact that boys are closer to their mothers and daughter to their fathers. Mothers in my opinion play the most important role. It is even more important than that of a wife, daughter or daughter-in-law, because you a mother have a power to shape your child's thinking and influence his or her personality to an extent you did not even think possible. In our society women generally protect their sons and cover for them, this is fine to a certain extent but please it is up to you to teach them to respect women.
Don't get me a wrong, I am a woman myself and I not blaming other women, all I am telling them is if you want to see a change, bring about the change at home. Next time your son says that women should be in the kitchen and should not go outside of their homes correct him and tell him he is wrong. The younger they are, the more likely it is they will listen to you. I am not blaming mother for they way a 15 or a 20 year old thinks. But to distinguish right from wrong is learned at a much younger age which we can control. The same time if it is a daughter and she sees you being abused by your husband she will think it is okay for her husband to be abusive because that is what she has seen happen in her family everyday.
Next time your daughter says she wants to wear a short dress, let her.... and tell her you will beat the shit out of any guy who tried to touch her without her consent. Next time your son says women should not dress that way, fix his ideas right then and there. And don't tell me its our culture and our society. Because the time period that was actually the Hindu culture was the Vedic period, which was a time when women lived with more liberty, freedom and expression they do now. Till the Mughals ruled us and then the British. What we have today is a mix of cultures of different origins that we have managed very well to make a disaster of.
Let me summarize this very long article by saying that women need to stand up for other women. Don't solely expect men to do that. It is great if some men do, and for that purpose I have so much respect for Raghu Ram and Rannvijay because there are such few men in our society who publicly do that. But we can make them understand that we do not have to fix the problem of sexual violence by violent ourselves. It has to come from a deeper understanding and a mutual respect for both the genders to live together peacefully. Maybe I live in a completely different world or maybe I have a different perspective.
Next time someone says women should not roam out late at night because it is against "our culture" I refuse to agree. No, no no..... this is not a part of my culture, my culture is not abusive, misogynistic or oppressive. You and I, we are talking of two different cultures.......
All over our news channels we are currently trying to fix the issue on a national scale as a country. The underlying problem actually is on a much smaller scale. Instead of dealing with it as a nation let's zoom in a little and look at a particular region, let's zoom in a little more take a look at a town or city and finally take a look at a household. I think this is where the actual lies....... at home. The problem in my opinion is so simple, women in our society do not stand up for other women. Think about this statement and then tell me it's wrong. I am not solely blaming women for this problem, but it is a major part of the problem. Allow me to explain...
Generally in any household, women spend a considerable amount of time with their children or at least a lot more than their husbands. Women thus get to shape a child's personality and ideology a lot more than they think they do. Parents (husband and wife) teach their children morals and ethics. These are the basic ideas that help people distinguish right from wrong. When a person fails to understand why rape is wrong it reflects on nothing but poor upbringing on behalf of their parents or (in most cases mothers).
Let us look at Mukesh, the man who recently said in the documentary India's daughter, that it was okay to rape a woman because of her clothes,(with no hint of remorse whatsoever) let us try and look when the boy was a child or a teenager. He at some point in his young adulthood probably revealed misogynistic behavior toward women. His father may or may not have caught this but his mother most likely saw it and overlooked it. Had it been addressed there and curbed inside of him, I doubt he would have grown up to be a man to show such much disrespect toward women that he does not even realize it's wrong.
Its a universally known fact that boys are closer to their mothers and daughter to their fathers. Mothers in my opinion play the most important role. It is even more important than that of a wife, daughter or daughter-in-law, because you a mother have a power to shape your child's thinking and influence his or her personality to an extent you did not even think possible. In our society women generally protect their sons and cover for them, this is fine to a certain extent but please it is up to you to teach them to respect women.
Don't get me a wrong, I am a woman myself and I not blaming other women, all I am telling them is if you want to see a change, bring about the change at home. Next time your son says that women should be in the kitchen and should not go outside of their homes correct him and tell him he is wrong. The younger they are, the more likely it is they will listen to you. I am not blaming mother for they way a 15 or a 20 year old thinks. But to distinguish right from wrong is learned at a much younger age which we can control. The same time if it is a daughter and she sees you being abused by your husband she will think it is okay for her husband to be abusive because that is what she has seen happen in her family everyday.
Next time your daughter says she wants to wear a short dress, let her.... and tell her you will beat the shit out of any guy who tried to touch her without her consent. Next time your son says women should not dress that way, fix his ideas right then and there. And don't tell me its our culture and our society. Because the time period that was actually the Hindu culture was the Vedic period, which was a time when women lived with more liberty, freedom and expression they do now. Till the Mughals ruled us and then the British. What we have today is a mix of cultures of different origins that we have managed very well to make a disaster of.
Let me summarize this very long article by saying that women need to stand up for other women. Don't solely expect men to do that. It is great if some men do, and for that purpose I have so much respect for Raghu Ram and Rannvijay because there are such few men in our society who publicly do that. But we can make them understand that we do not have to fix the problem of sexual violence by violent ourselves. It has to come from a deeper understanding and a mutual respect for both the genders to live together peacefully. Maybe I live in a completely different world or maybe I have a different perspective.
